How Life Coaching Can Help You With Your Most Important Relationships

1. Stop yourself before criticizing, condemning, or complaining. Now is the time for appreciation. Notice what your partner is doing right and praise him or her for it.
2. Stay curious and listen more than you talk. Simply asking your partner a question and actually pausing to listen to the answer can be healing during these times.
3. Don’t try to talk them out of their feelings. Everyone is processing the pandemic and the constant deluge of news about it in their own way. No one has the right to tell anyone else how they should or should not feel.
4. Take some alone time. Go for a walk. Get outside. Be your own advocate, and negotiate ways to get alone time even if you have young children. (Hint: side-by-side time on screens doesn’t count!)
5. Ask for their time. When you’re around each other all day, not intruding on each other’s time and thoughts becomes even more important.

Your Relationship With Yourself

1. Catch yourself thinking negative thoughts. Isolation can be incredibly difficult because we don’t have people around us to help us with perspective. Use this time to become aware of your inner critic and actively challenge critical thoughts. Just noticing the voice in your head and recognizing that your thoughts are not necessarily facts can be a great way to start.
2. Reassess. For many, COVID isolation has been an opportunity to assess whether work environment, friendships, and romantic relationships are supportive of their life goals. Loving yourself means stepping away from aspects of life that are detracting from your ability to be your true self.
3. Listen to your emotions. Instead of using alcohol or drugs, staying constantly busy, or becoming a martyr who puts the needs of others ahead of your own, really sit with your feelings. Notice how activities make you feel. Then, take steps to gain more clarity about the messages your emotions might be sending you.
4. Do for others. One client has focused on “small acts of service” these past few months as a way to shore up his yearning for what seems to be missing in his life. His giving has brought him gratitude and happiness.
5. Find a furry friend. Dogs and cats are being adopted these days in record numbers. The physical touch of a warm and cuddly animal is actually therapeutic and can help replace the loss that we feel in not being able to connect with others.
6. Get outside. Scheduling time to exercise or walk outdoors is vital to help structure your day during this time if you are currently living alone. Especially in winter, our bodies need light and air in order to thrive.
7. Find safe ways to connect. It’s easier than ever to connect with friends and family by phone, or through online chats, but certainly less fulfilling than in-person connections. Certainly use technology to safely connect with those you love, but don’t expect to get all your social and emotional needs this way. If you find yourself without many people to turn to, schedule a coaching session with a life coach like me. I specialize in providing impartial advice, guiding and encouraging my clients, while also being a reliable person whose top priority is you. (My Life coaching clients realize that they don’t need another parent, sibling, friend, or co-worker telling them what they should be doing. Read Catharine’s blog post Life Coaching vs. Friendship: Why Hire a Life Coach.)
8. Enjoy the process. Whether in a relationship or not, improving your relationship with yourself is key. Fall in love with something new about yourself every day. The process can actually be fun if you let it.

Life Coaching to Build Love